Reading Paul Dervan’s article from 6^th November on O2 IdeasRoom about the need for strategic focus in business got me thinking about the relationship side of business.

How often in a business environment do you see people interrupting conversations to answer their phone or checking and sending emails or text messages at meetings?

Did you know that etiquette dictates that the person in front of you take precedence over phone calls, emails, tweets and text messages? Surprised?

These behaviours are so prevalent; we often defer to the modern communications devices without thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong; I’m as addicted to my emails, texting messaging and social networks as much as the next person.

However, in order to truly harness the power of modern technology we need to remember that communication is about relationships, not technology. Technology is the means, not the end.

According to a survey carried out by Business Performance Perspectives (www.bpp.ie) 100% of professionals surveyed value manners in their business dealings. 71% define rudeness as indifference or inattentiveness. Nearly half (46%) would move their business elsewhere if they were on the receiving end of bad manners (up from 26% in 2008).

Of course, good manners shouldn’t just be reserved for clients or potential clients. How people treat each other within an organisation is just as important to the overall health of a business.

A culture that accepts a focus on multi-tasking communications to get things done is sacrificing the relationships that give a business its competitive edge. Employees might be getting things done, but if they aren’t fully connecting they are potentially misinterpreting information and working with incomplete information, which when combined, results in reduced performance, problem-solving and creativity.

Many organisations depend on global virtual teams. If it’s not possible to meet face to face, technology offers great alternatives such as audio, video or web conferencing, web collaboration and online meeting services.

The need for etiquette is just as important in these situations. You may feel free to text, tweet and email without the other participants being able to see you. Happy Days! However, the downside of multi-tasking communications in this situation is the same as others – incomplete and misinterpretation of information. And there is also the risk of embarrassing yourself by raising points that have already been covered!

Etiquette involves respect for others and self, consideration and honesty. Here are some simple guidelines to keep in mind when working with others:

• Focus your attention on the person you are with
• Turn off your mobile phone or blackberry when meeting clients and colleagues
• Agree regular breaks to allow participants to check messages during longer meetings
• Know why you are attending meetings, if you have no clear purpose don’t go. Get cc’ed on the minutes
• Don’t ever deliver bad news by email

Communication technology offers amazing opportunities to connect and build relationships.  Once you’ve connected, remember to focus on the relationship. It’s the quality of the relationships that defines the quality of the business.

Zeus and Skiffington say it’s about change and transformation. I like this; it captures the essence of coaching and is often all that is required to satisfy the friendly enquiry.

Of course, coaching is a very broad field and is an emerging profession.

Organisations such as the Association for Coaching, European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC) and the Life and Business Coaching Association of Ireland have emerged to promote good practice and ethics.

In my view, this is a very important and necessary step in the development of our profession.

There are many types of coaching; life, spirituality, sports, parenting, business and executive coaching are some of the variations.

My field is business and executive coaching. Having played a leadership role in a large multinational for many years, the challenges that individuals and organisations face in mobilising and achieving change fascinate me.

When I first decided to pursue coaching training, I wanted to ensure that I would receive top class training and that my qualifications would have national and international credibility and currency.

It took many months of research and my final choice was supported by a recommendation from a trusted colleague – always a good start and end point.

Interestingly, I have found coaching to be an effective and personally challenging catalyst for my own development. When I started my training I believed coaching would be something I would learn to do – and learning to do it is important.

However, I also quickly learnt it was a personal journey, one which I needed to embrace if I wanted to authentically facilitate the change and transition process for others.

I fully appreciate how frustratingly confusing it can be for individuals and organisations looking for a coach. My advice is to use the various coaching organisations’ websites as a starting point.

When I’m asked for a 90 second elevator pitch about what to look for in a coach, I use Peter Bluckert’s five higher level competencies of executive coaching. The depth of competence required in each will depend entirely on what the individual or organisation wants to achieve.

The first is business competence which involves an understanding of how organisations work, culture, strategy, leadership and politics.

The second is coaching competence. This is a combination of skills, process, methodology and mindset of the coach.

The third is psychological competencies. A coach needs to understand how change takes place and why it often doesn’t take place.

The fourth is interpersonal and relationship management competencies. This is about the coach’s ability to build and form a relationship with the coachee.

In organisations, the coachee is often not the sponsor. Therefore, an ability to manage the triangularisation of the contracting process is critical to success.

The fifth competence is professional practice. This includes adhering to a code of ethics, honouring confidentiality agreements and maintaining the highest standards of professionalism.

Yes it’s about change and transformation, but it’s also about a lot more.

Isolde Norris: Director at KOI Business Coaching & Consulting Limited
www.koiconsulting.ie